Autism Relationship Resources: Building Understanding and Connection for the Relationships

Autism can shape how individuals experience relationships, bringing unique strengths like honesty, loyalty, and focus. However, autism also creates challenges related to interpreting social cues or expressing emotions. These differences can easily lead to misunderstandings.

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Autistic people thrive in relationships with clear communication and mutual understanding. For instance, they may prefer direct communication or need time to recharge after sensory overload. When these needs are respected, it fosters trust and support.

Most of us were taught that it is best to use “person-first language” when referring to disabilities. Person-first language intentionally separates a person from the disability, as in saying “person with diabetes” rather than “diabetic person.” This intends to emphasize the individual over their disability, showing that the disability does not define the person. However, not everyone views their disability as something that can, or should, be separated from them. 

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This is why identity-first language—as in saying “autistic person” rather than “person with autism”—is important to the autistic community. Many autistic people prefer identity-first language because it acknowledges that being autistic is a core part of who they are. 

Sensory processing differences–sometimes referred to as sensory processing disorder–can significantly impact emotion regulation, daily functioning and overall well-being. Sensory overload occurs when the nervous system is overwhelmed with more sensory input than it can process, a common experience for autistic adults. Research psychologist, Dr. MacLennan, and her colleagues report that approximately 9 out of every 10  autistic adults in their research experience sensory processing differences. Considering the wide-ranging and profound effects of sensory processing differences, it is crucial to understand the nature of sensory overload, its impact on the nervous system, and strategies for managing sensory differences.

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Sensory overload can present as a physical, cognitive or emotional response because these experiences overlap. For example, sensory overload may look like irritability, anxiety, difficulty concentrating or fatigue. When it becomes too intense, the body may have a fight or flight response, leading to a meltdown or shutdown while your body is trying to protect you from danger. Developing sensory self-care strategies is vital to your well-being and mental health because sensory overload can contribute to anxiety, stress, fatigue and further impact any existing mental health difficulties.

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The senses and their role in sensory processing

While most are familiar with the five senses, visual (sight), auditory (hearing), olfactory (smell), gustatory (taste), and tactile (touch), many are unfamiliar with other senses that play a crucial role in sensory processing. These include the lesser-known vestibular (balance), proprioceptive (position), and interoceptive (internal) senses. These three are particularly significant to autistic people. The vestibular system is in the inner ear, and it helps with balance by sensing the orientation of your head in space. It can be activated through sensory input such as rocking or spinning. Proprioception is our innate sense of our body’s position in space. It’s activated by anything that creates pressure on the joints, such as carrying heavy objects, pushing or pulling. Interoception refers to our internal body sensations such as hunger, thirst or needing to use the bathroom. Individuals with hyposensitivity to interoception may struggle to access these internal cues. These lesser-known senses are incredibly important in sensory processing and nervous system regulation.