Autism and Empathy: What the Research (and Autistic People) Actually Say

We often make assumptions about others’ internal states based on their external behaviors. For example, if it seems like you’re shivering, one might guess that you’re cold. The assumption might be correct much of the time, but these assumptions are not always accurate. It’s also possible that you could be shivering but not cold, or cold but not shivering.

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Likewise, if you’re autistic, you may find your behaviors misunderstood because you communicate differently from what some people expect. People might misperceive your feelings and intentions. This is common for autistic people, and that’s part of why there are harmful misconceptions about autism and empathy — specifically, that autistic people have none.

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The question “Do people with autism have empathy?” prevails in blog posts and articles. The reality is that autistic people do have empathy, and in fact, many have heightened empathy. This is true even if its expression presents differently, says Anna Kroncke, PhD, a licensed psychologist with Prosper Health.

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The autism lack of empathy myth causes a lot of confusion, especially for neurodivergent people who aren’t diagnosed in childhood. You may hear for years that you’re “cold” or “insensitive,” even when you have the best of intentions, and have no idea why. Or, the fact you have empathy may lead you to doubt the possibility you’re autistic to begin with. 

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In this article, we'll discuss what research shows about autism spectrum disorder, empathy, how to recognize it in your own life, and how having empathy doesn't rule out the possibility of being autistic.

There are several different types of empathy, specifically cognitive, affective, and behavioral. Here’s what they all look like.

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Cognitive Empathy

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Have you ever said something in good faith, only to be told that what you said was offensive? You had no idea that your words would be hurtful, and if you did, you wouldn’t have said them. This type of scenario can sometimes relate to what’s known as cognitive empathy.

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Cognitive empathy is the ability to understand or infer what another person is thinking without being told. It involves understanding others’ emotions, thoughts, and experiences.

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This type of empathy is closely related to the ‘theory of mind,’ which is the ability to guess any person's thoughts and feelings based on cues like body language and tone. This is the area of empathy where research typically finds autism-related differences.

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Some neurotypical people have an easier time reading or picking up on the emotions of others. Meanwhile, for many autistic people, cognitive empathy takes conscious effort to think through.

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This may partly be because many autistic individuals need more time to process information and might not understand neurotypical social cues as readily. They may also focus less on nonverbal cues and more on literal meanings of words, adds autistic therapist Ciara Bogdanovic, LMFT. 

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What’s more, neurodiversity-affirming therapist Helen Dempsey-Henofer, LCSW, points out that autistic people “tend to be cautious about assuming they know what another person is feeling or intending.”

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Affective Empathy

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Imagine seeing a loved one in distress. Maybe they’re upset about not getting into the college they wanted. Perhaps they’re crying because their friend is critically ill. In any case, you might feel their distress as if it’s your own, even if your face doesn’t show it. This is an example of affective empathy. 

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Affective empathy (emotional empathy) is the state of feeling what another person feels. It’s defined as vicariously sensing and sharing other people's emotions. According to a systematic review published in Clinical Psychology Review, autistic individuals often report sharing the feelings of others’ emotions (affective empathy) as much as neurotypical individuals do. “When my pals are upset I comfort them and also feel an ache in my chest,” describes 22-year-old Evan.

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That said, differences in cognitive empathy can sometimes make it seem like an autistic person has less affective empathy when that’s not the case. A personal example: In my early 20s, I went out with a family member who has a personal disdain for tattoos. When they started complimenting a stranger’s tattoo, I said, “I thought you hated tattoos?”

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From an outsider’s perspective, it may appear I didn’t care how they felt or, worse, that I was actively trying to make them feel and look bad in front of others. The reality is that I somehow didn’t register that my comment would be embarrassing (cognitive empathy), but when my family member told me afterwards, I felt awful (affective empathy).

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In any case, autistic people often express affective empathy differently. ‍This is where behavioral empathy comes into play.

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Behavioral Empathy

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If you know a loved one is upset, what do you do? Maybe you freeze, default to a practical fix, or give a listening ear. These are examples of behavioral empathy, which is all about responding to other people’s emotions in a supportive way. This specific term isn’t used in autism research as much as cognitive and affective empathy are, but it’s a distinction used more and more often in practice. 

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“Seeing someone [in] distress could very well cause an autistic person to feel empathy,” says Nicole Issa, Psy.D. However, they often feel uncertain about how to help.

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It can take an autistic person more conscious effort, direct information, and time to figure out the right response. This can be tricky because everyone has different ideas of what comfort is.

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Kroncke recalls an autistic person who said that they want space whenever they feel sad, so they try to give the same to their loved ones. "Their partner said, “it seems like you don’t care” when in reality they cared deeply but were trying to provide their partner with what they would want," she says.

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Many of Kroncke's autistic patients show their empathy through listening, offering practical help, or trying to fix the situation, as opposed to offering hugs or saying "I'm so sorry." Some people respond well to this, but others feel unsupported, contributing to the misperception that autistic people lack empathy.

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This is one reason communication is so critical. Asking “what do you need in this moment?” can go a long way when there’s any doubt.

Differences in empathy can happen for a variety of reasons, which may include alexithymia, interoception, and/or monotropism. 

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Alexithymia‍

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Alexithymia (loosely translated from Greek to mean ‘no words for emotions’) is​​ difficulty identifying and describing one’s own emotions. Compare it to someone who can’t put into words what it feels like to be cold, or isn’t quite sure whether they’re cold or if it’s something else.

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Alexithymia can influence how you recognize facial expressions and what part of your brain activates during empathy tasks. About half of autistic individuals and 10% of the general population experience alexithymia, points out a 2018 study in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders.

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Thus, differences in empathy may stem from emotion recognition differences due to alexithymia rather than autism itself, says a 2025 study in Personality and Individual Differences. While research isn’t conclusive, an earlier 2010 study indicated no significant differences in empathy between autistic and allistic groups after accounting for alexithymia. 

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It makes sense that having trouble naming your own emotional response can make it hard for you or others to identify it as empathy.‍

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Interoception

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Interoception refers to your awareness of your own bodily sensations and emotions. To someone with low interoception, sensations of emotions may not be readily accessible. This is like the difference between someone who is shivering but doesn’t realize they’re cold and someone who notices they’re cold and puts on a sweater. ‍

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According to the Journal of Autism and Development Disorders some autistic people are less aware of interoception. When you’re less in tune to the physical sensations of your emotions, you might be less in tune to your own response to others’ emotions, as well. This is how interoception is linked to emotional awareness and may contribute to empathy misunderstandings. 

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Monotropism   

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Monotropism is a tendency to concentrate attention on one or a few special interests, tasks, or sources of information at a time. This is in contrast to polytropism, a tendency to spread focus easily (but less deeply) across many different inputs.

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You can think of monotropism as having one very bright flashlight to view a dark room. Meanwhile, polytropism would be like turning on the overhead light so you can look around at multiple things at once. 

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With monotropism, your focus on a certain topic or task may become so deep that you miss or don’t react as expected to social cues. An example related to empathy is that you’re so absorbed in an activity that you don’t realize a friend seems upset, says Kroncke. It’s not because you don’t care, but because your attention is somewhere else.

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The “double empathy problem,” first described by autism researcher Damian Milton in 2012, highlights that misunderstandings between neurotypicals and autistic people are mutual. Both neurotypical and autistic people often misinterpret one another’s feelings and intentions. 

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The idea is that understanding people of a different neurotype can be challenging for anyone. This problem isn’t due to deficiencies on the part of autistic people specifically. Instead, “what we have called 'social deficits' may actually represent more of a mismatch in communication styles,” says Helen Dempsey-Henofer, LCSW.

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If your reactions don’t align with neurotypical norms, non-autistic folks may assume you lack empathy even if that’s not the case. When that happens, Kroncke emphasizes the importance of direct and open communication.

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She recommends explaining upfront: “I care very much, but I may show it differently or I may not know what to do or say in an emotional moment.” Whenever you’re not sure how someone’s feeling, you might ask,  “Tell me what you are feeling, and tell me what you need. How can I support you?” 

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Dempsey-Henofer notes that everyone is wired differently, so caring for one another involves mutual accommodation.

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Historically, many experts approached research on empathy from the perspective that it’s a deficit on the part of autistic individuals. This often came with flawed research methodologies, including culturally biased and vague survey questions that autistic individuals may interpret differently.

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The unfortunate legacy? A stereotype that autistic individuals lack empathy. Sentiments like this have allowed the burden of misunderstandings to disproportionately fall on autistic people. They’ve also been used to justify harmful practices aimed at making autistic individuals less autistic.

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Researchers like Dr. Jessica Harrison have found that many practices contributing to these misunderstandings are neither accurate nor ethical. Even the referral process for an autism diagnosis can rely on outdated ideas. That means a lot of autistic people are not identified simply because they exhibit empathy. 

Some autistic people, particularly those who identify as autistic empaths, experience a heightened sense of empathy known as hyper-empathy. This is the natural result of "empathic disequilibrium," or higher levels of emotional empathy than cognitive empathy, a common phenomenon among autistic individuals, according to a 2022 study in Autism Research.

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Sharing in others’ emotions can become so intense that it’s difficult to separate their emotions from your own. This can be exhausting and cause overwhelming distress to the point of shutdown. If someone shuts down due to hyper-empathy, others may misunderstand it as not caring when, in fact, the complete opposite is true.

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Additionally, some autistic individuals describe experiencing the most empathy for other autistic people, animals, and people they feel close to. “It can be a little harder with acquaintances or strangers,” Evan says. “I definitely still will be concerned for strangers, but that's when my social struggle anxiety takes over and I [fear] making it worse from not understanding them or their needs.”

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Many other autistic individuals are highly sensitive to how positive or negative others feel –– the emotional valence –– even if it takes conscious effort to know why or what others expect them to do about it. 

It’s understandable if your own empathy makes you question the possibility that you may be autistic. The idea that autistic people lack empathy is rampant in our culture. It's even ingrained in some autism screening and diagnostic tools. 

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If you suspect you may be autistic yet feel stumped because of your empathy, Kroncke suggests taking a broader perspective. As we’ve noted, lack of empathy isn’t a criterion of autism. “Most autistic individuals care deeply about others’ feelings when those people matter to them,” Kroncke says.

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Autism does involve differences in communication. For some people, this may be misperceived as lack of empathy. For others, it might not — especially if you’re high-masking.

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“Getting a thorough evaluation like those offered at Prosper can dig deep into the nuances,” says Kroncke.

Support is available whether you’re seeking an autism evaluation or are already diagnosed. Here are some resources that may help with matters related to autism and empathy:

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• Evaluation and diagnosis: An evaluation at a neurodivergent-affirming provider like Prosper Health can offer insight on whether or not you’re autistic. A diagnosis can shed light on why you are the way you are and open doors to more individualized resources.
• Peer or community support: Many autistic people find empathy easiest with other autistic individuals. Neurodivergent communities can help you connect with others who are like you.
• Self-advocacy resources: Self-advocacy resources can help you learn how to explain your empathy to people who've misread it.
• Family or couples therapy: A neurodivergent-affirming therapist can help you and your loved ones understand one another and communicate empathy in a way that meets each of your needs.

Communication differences can cause neurotypicals and autistic people to misunderstand one another. This has led to a common misconception that autistic individuals lack empathy. Thus, the question “are autistic people empathetic?” has become a common one.

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The research is clear: most autistic people do have empathy. The myth that they don’t has caused a great deal of harm. It has prevented empathetic autistic people from obtaining diagnoses and support that they need.

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If you're autistic, know that it doesn't mean you're "cold," "insensitive," or lacking in empathy. Discussing communication differences with loved ones can help prevent misconceptions.

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If you think you may be autistic, the presence of empathy doesn’t rule it out. A neurodivergent-affirming clinician can help you determine whether you’re neurodivergent, no matter your empathy levels and how they’re expressed. 

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

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Do autistic people struggle with empathy?  

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Many autistic people report having lower cognitive empathy, which means they’re less likely to recognize other people’s feelings without being told. However, when they do know the feelings of others, they’re often just as likely as neurotypicals to share in those feelings (affective empathy).

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Can I still be autistic if I have a lot of empathy?

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Yes. Many autistic people have average or high levels of empathy. In fact, some autistic individuals find their empathy levels to be overwhelming.

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Why might an autistic person seem like they don't care, even when they do?

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An autistic person may seem like they don’t care, even when they do, because they might not express empathy in the way you might expect. Some autistic people are less likely to express empathy in conventional ways like quieting their tone and saying “I’m so sorry.” They might respond in other ways, such as trying to fix the problem, giving space, or offering advice. This may appear less empathetic to people with different communication styles.