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How to Develop a Daily Routine For Autistic Adults

Autistic person writing their routine in a planner
Medically review by
Glen Veed
Published On:
Feb 4, 2025
Updated On:

Key Takeaways

  • Autistic adults have a preference for routines and sameness. They can find it distressing to deviate from routines.
  • Autistic individuals can use routines to improve their quality of life.
  • Developing and sticking to a daily routine can be a source of stress relief for autistic adults. A daily routine can also lead to emotional regulation and independence.
  • Daily routines should address individual needs and preferences while also including some flexibility to account for unexpected disruptions.
  • Therapists, family members and friends should be accepting and supportive of autistic routines.

Introduction to autism and routines

According to the diagnostic criteria outlined in the DSM-V, individuals with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) exhibit a preference for sameness and routines. Most people, both neurodiverse and neurotypical, have routines or schedules they like to stick to. The difference between neurotypical and neurodiverse routines is how someone reacts when their routine is disrupted.

Neurotypical individuals may experience frustration if their routine is thrown off, but they can usually go with the flow and adapt without too much stress. For an autistic individual, however, a disruption to their routine is often quite distressing and may even lead to a meltdown. To outsiders, an autistic individual’s stress when facing a change of plans may seem disproportionate, but routine is essential to an autistic person’s well-being. 

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Understanding the importance of routines

Routines are especially important to autistic adults. Because adherence to routines is a central part of the autistic experience, they can be utilized to improve an autistic adult’s quality of life. By creating an individualized daily routine, it’s possible to reduce the uncertainty and stress of each new day.

Adhering to a personalized routine has many benefits, such as:

  • Stress relief: Routines help autistic individuals cope with stress by eliminating some unpredictability and providing a sense of stability, since autistic adults often feel stressed when faced with uncertainty. Establishing a daily routine helps to eliminate some uncertainty by allowing people on the autism spectrum to have a set of reasonable expectations for what will happen each day.
  • Developing emotional resilience: Allocating time each day to interact with special interests or socialize in a way that feels approachable and fulfilling will help autistic adults build emotional resilience. 
  • Reducing mental workload: By providing a clear guideline for what to expect each day and what they need to get done, autistic adults can use a daily routine to eliminate the guesswork involved with facing a new day.
  • Encouraging Independence: Since a routine can be tailored to include things required to live independently, like cooking, hygiene and medical care, following a daily routine allows autistic adults to live more independently. 

Routines as a source of emotional regulation

A healthy routine can help autistic individuals be more emotionally regulated. Emotional regulation is the ability to comfortably express and manage emotions. Autistic people often struggle with emotional regulation. Routines aid in stress relief, reduce mental load and can be customized to include special interests. All of those things help a person effectively regulate their emotions. When practiced long-term, having a daily routine may help an autistic individual feel emotionally regulated more often.

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Creating your personalized daily routine

When creating a daily routine, it’s important to remember that it’s all about you. Your routine should be tailored to your needs and interests. Looking at examples of routines, or asking autistic friends about their routines, is a great starting point. However, remember to allow for some flexibility when creating your own. Taking some creative freedom is highly encouraged.

Key components of an effective routine for autistic adults

Because the goal of a routine is to feel regulated, de-stressed and generally well, there are some universal things that you should try to include. For example, a healthy routine can include:

  • Balanced meals that are not only nutritious but also enjoyable
  • Body movement (this doesn’t have to be heavy exercise, even some gentle stretching is worthwhile)
  • Leisure activities
  • Plenty of sleep
  • Built-in time for breaks
  • Socialization that feels fulfilling, not overwhelming. (Like talking to a friend on the phone, not attending a crowded house party)
  • Attending to personal hygiene, like showering and doing housekeeping tasks

Tailoring your routine to fit your individual needs and preferences 

Though there are general things that you should try to include in your daily routine, everyone’s specific needs and preferences are different. Your routine is yours, so it should address the things that you need. 

For example, some autistic people are actually quite extroverted instead of introverted, as autistic people are stereotypically thought to be. An extroverted autistic person’s routine might include a large dose of socializing, while an introverted autistic person’s routine likely won’t. Or, an autistic individual with a special interest in poetry may incorporate time each day to relax and read or write poems. That would be fulfilling and restorative for them. But, an autistic person without that special interest doesn’t need to make poetry part of their day. 

The autism spectrum is exactly that––a spectrum. Although autistic individuals are bound together by a shared neurotype, they have a wide range of individual needs and desires. Though routines tend to be universally beneficial for autistic individuals, their content should be personalized to each autistic person.

Autistic woman feeling mentally overwhelmed

Incorporating flexibility into your routine

When developing a routine, it’s important to allow for some flexibility. Even with a routine, life happens. This means sometimes you’ll need to adjust your routines, or even skip them entirely.

As previously mentioned, changes in routine can be distressing for autistic adults. By having a routine that can be adapted or changed, those distressed feelings may be less extreme. 

Strategies for adjusting routines to accommodate unexpected changes

Being flexible and adjusting routines is difficult, but there are ways to do it gradually, like:

  • Occasionally changing the order in which tasks are done: For example, if an autistic adult always attends therapy at lunchtime on Wednesday, schedule it for Thursday evening sometimes, instead. This helps enforce that things can happen at different times or on different days, even if it’s not when they usually occur. Therefore, if faced with a disruption to a routine, the autistic individual has already accepted that they can handle a disruption, and do things out of order. 
  • Introduce something new to the routine: Add in an hour of exercise or a doctor’s appointment, but still stick to the routine otherwise. This will help reinforce that having something new or unforeseen to do in a day doesn’t have to completely disrupt the entire routine. Therefore, when something unexpected has to be added to an autistic individual's day, they feel empowered in their ability to adjust their routine to accommodate new circumstances.
  • Practice coping skills: Learn coping strategies that can be useful during moments of stress, due to transitions or changes to routine. Find time each day, or each week, to practice things like deep breathing or non-injurious stimming. When faced with an especially distressing routine disruption, you can use these coping skills to decrease stress.

Tools and resources for routine planning

When creating and enforcing a routine, an autistic individual may find themselves needing a little extra help. Luckily, there are plenty of tools available to aid in daily routines.

Planners

Planners are an excellent way to both stay on task and have a consistent overview of what to expect in the coming days and weeks. A planner provides space to write down daily schedules and weekly reminders. This makes them useful for jotting down daily routines, and also remembering things like doctor appointments, which occur less often and are easy to forget.

Apps

Planners can be physical or digital, which is good news if someone prefers options that are available on their electronic devices. Plenty of free planner apps and websites are available, with options to fit the user’s specific needs. Apps can function like a digital planner, or be more interactive by providing alarms and reminders when it’s time to do a particular task. Further, apps can serve as a “to-do” list, which allows users to create tasks and cross them off as they are completed. 

Visual schedules

Visual supports are a tool that some autistic adults choose to use. Written schedules may seem daunting or inflexible. Visual schedules use pictures instead of just words to represent daily tasks and reminders. Autistic individuals may feel more comfortable using visual representations for their daily tasks. 

Visual schedules can take different forms, from text-based to image-based and object-based. If a text-based visual schedule (like a planner or calendar) seems unapproachable, an autistic individual may opt for an image-based schedule. Instead of a timesheet that says “breakfast at 9 am”, an image-based schedule may have a photo of bacon and eggs or a bagel in the 9 a.m. slot. An object-based schedule might have a paint brush attached to the afternoon space, instead of the words “Do some painting at 3 pm.” 

Accountability Partners

Though not a digital or tangible tool, finding an accountability partner may help an autistic individual develop and adhere to a daily routine. If part of a daily routine is goal-based, like learning a new skill or starting a workout plan, then having a friend or family member gently check in on progress may be helpful. 

For example, part of my daily routine is to read for at least thirty minutes each day. My husband will often ask me about the book I’m reading, or ask me how many pages I’ve read on a given day. Sometimes, I’ve gotten busy or overwhelmed and forgotten to pick up a book at all. He’s not passing judgment or assessing my progress, but he’s subtly encouraging me to stick to a part of my routine that I find fulfilling.

Supporting routine development: Tips for therapists and support systems

An autistic adult’s support system needs to be aware of and encouraging of their routines. While some neurotypical people may view autistic rigidity as annoying or something to be discouraged, some adherence to routine is important for autistic individuals. 

Because routines are an important part of an autistic individual's well-being, their friends, family members and other supportive people should make an effort to be mindful of those routines.  For example, if an autistic individual typically eats dinner at the same time each night, members of their support system could try to accommodate that when possible. Make dinner plans for that time, instead of much earlier or later.

Not only can support systems be mindful and accepting of routines, but there are even ways for support people to be actively involved in routines. Therapists, parents, roommates or other people in an autistic adult’s life can aid in developing routines. Sitting down together and creating a routine will not only help an autistic individual feel supported, but everyone will have a clear idea of what that person’s routine is and how to best honor it. 

Adherence to routines is not only a diagnostic criterion of autism spectrum disorder, but it’s also an important part of the autistic experience. Routines can be tailored to individual needs and can be flexible enough to accommodate unexpected disruptions. Autistic people should be encouraged to develop healthy routines, and their support systems should do their best to honor and accept those routines.

How Prosper Health can help

If you’re autistic and struggling with developing a healthy routine or managing stress, Prosper Health is here to help. 

Our clinicians provide neurodiversity-affirming therapy for autistic adults. We incorporate evidence-based therapies into our sessions, tailoring care to the unique needs of autistic adults.

With Prosper’s support, you can learn to improve your mental well-being and thrive.